In a perfect world I’d be sitting in the sun, being lazy and reading my a neverending stream of brilliant FFs,
In a perfect world I wouldn’t have a job and studies that are sucking my life right out of me,
In a perfect world I’d have my very own perfect Darcy-Wentworth-Knightley-Tilney-Glorfindel-Erestor-Aragorn-Legolas-McDreamy-McSteamy who’d love me till the end of my time,
In a perfect world everything would smoothly etc. But – alas! – that’s my only imagination.
We do get however a glimpse of how P&P would have been In a perfect world as Joanne is currently posting a story of that title at DWG, it’s a WIP, but updates a pretty stable so far (*crosses fingers*). It’s a very angst-free version of P&P (or so it says in the story’s blurb) and it’s simply hilarious! It’s first of all the storyline itself that made me laugh aloud a lot while reading it (the first chapter alone with Darcy, Bingley, the Colonel and a friend called Ellis Fleming are caught in a very… ahem… I’d go for unique circumstances is a gem) but it’s also the incredible amount of puns and wordplays in this story which make it incredibly funny. I love the puns and the wordplays (although I have to say that – not being a native speaker – that I probably get only the half of it), but they are hilarious nevertheless, an excerpt:
They exited the shoe shop, entered the barouche, and traveled to Bond Street, where they were disappointed by a sign on the door of the new music store: Bach in a Minuet. Doorknob is Baroque. Do not rattle Handel.
or (Darcy says this)
“Yes, Georgie; I first stopped at Fletcher & Byrd, the new plumassier, and am embarrassed to admit I became quite adrift. The fledgling business is located in a-loft; and one must follow the arrows up several flights of stairs and down a long corridor to the building’s oldest wing. I took several wrong terns before entering the correct doorway, which was so low I had to duck. I feathered their nest with a swift purchase of a large clutch of ostrich and peacock plumage but was in a hurry and may have been gulled by their soaring prices. But I managed to swallow my spleen and sign my name with an ornate goose quill. The owlish Mr. Fletcher perched himself on the counter and had the pluck to say that our patronage would be a feather in his cap; and Mr. Byrd, the pompous coxcomb, agreed and crowed that customers would soon flock to their shop. But, to be honest, Georgie, I found both men to be quite flighty; and they may have been robin me. Fortunately, I was also able to obtain the desired cake just one block away; so the package is now being dispatched, my errands were completed more rapidly than expected, and I was able to meet, at the appointed time, four very lovely ladies.”
There are other scenes which made me laugh out loud (again some excerpts):
The object of Jane’s study spotted them, and his secret admirer secretly admired the power and masculinity he exuded as he flashed a knee-weakening smile and strode in their direction. Gone was the wild, green-tinged raffish ruffian from Pemberley; but there was still evidence of well-toned muscles beneath his tight-fitting coat and inexpressible breeches. Miss Bennet’s breathing became more rapid with every step closer he took.
Darcy: “Fitz!”
Georgiana: “Richard!”
Anna: “Cousin!”
Elizabeth: “Colonel Fitzwilliam!”
Jane began to hyperventilate and blush.
Caroline: “Oh. It is you.”
And (my favourite at the moment):
His thick and vibrant wavy hair, which brushed the collar of his coat, seemed to change colour depending on how the light touched the burnished strands. Miss Darcy thought it was auburn with gold highlights; Miss Anna called it amber with streaks of bronze; Jane considered it to be more copper with fiery accents; and Lizzy, who was rather hungry as she waited for dinner, would have said it resembled cinnamon, nutmeg, and honey that evening. Fitzwilliam Darcy’s opinion of Dun’s hair was that it looked like a clay-covered-carrot-coloured mop that clashed horribly with the red of the bloke’s uniform.
There are so many, I think I should stop quoting now and send you to DWG to read the story yourself. A pleasure to read after a stressful week, angst-free and simply sweet and funny.
Loading ...